


Dalek Prime Minister's Questions

by KingoftheUzbeks



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: ALL CAPS, Daleks - Freeform, Gen, Humor, Just this side of crack, Parliament (Dalek Space), Parliament (UK), Politics, Prime Minister's Questions, The Doctor is only mentioned, debate, transcript, why do they have a parliament
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-20
Updated: 2019-03-20
Packaged: 2019-11-25 22:27:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 827
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18172271
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KingoftheUzbeks/pseuds/KingoftheUzbeks
Summary: In Asylum of the Daleks we learn the Daleks have a Prime Minister and a Parliament and stuff. What does this body look like on a normal day? How is the Prime Minister kept accountable?These questions need answered.





	Dalek Prime Minister's Questions

Speaker: ORDER ORDER. THE SPEAKER RECOGNIZES THE HONORABLE DALEK FROM QUADRANT THREE.

MP for Quadrant 3 (Leader of the Opposition): DOES THE PRIME MINISTER STAND BY THE GOVERNMENT'S WEAPONS POLICY?"

Prime Minister: YES, AND I THANK THE HONORABLE MEMBER FOR HIS QUESTION. OUR POLICY HAS SEEN MASSIVE GROWTH IN OUR FLEET.

[Eye Stalks nod up and down in the Government benches]

IN THE PAST CYCLE THE FLEET NINE HAS SEEN AN EXTERMINATION RATE INCREASE OF TWO-HUNDRED PERCENT. EXTERMINATE EXTERMINATE EXTERMINATE.

[General ruckus as the government benches erupt in cheers of "Exterminate"]

Speaker: ORDER. THE RIGHT HONORABLE DALEK HAS THE FLOOR.

[The Honorable Dalek from Quadrant 45 fails to quiet and is exterminated] 

Prime Minister: FLEET THIRTY TWO HAS WON A GREAT VICTORY OVER THE CYBERMEN. ACROSS THE GALAXY THE DALEK EMPIRE APPROACHES FINAL VICTORY.

MP for Quadrant 3: THE RIGHT HONORABLE DALEK FAILS TO MENTION THE DEFEATS FROM THE SONTARIANS AND THE HUMAN-OOD FEDERATION. 45 MILLION LOST IN A WEEK. IS THIS WHAT THE GOVERNMENT CALLS FINAL VICTORY?

Prime Minister: THERE IS STILL RESISTANCE TO BE CRUSHED. BUT IF CONTINUED THE WAR WILL BE WON.

[Cheers of "Exterminate" from the government benches]

MP for Quadrant 3: SPEAKER DALEK, I YIELD THE FLOOR TO MY HONORABLE COLLEAGUE THE DALEK FROM QUADRANT ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY SIX.

MP for Quadrant 126: I WOULD LIKE TO ASK THE RIGHT HONORABLE DALEK ABOUT A GAP IN RESOURCE ALLOCATION I HAVE DISCOVERED. MILLIONS OF TONNES OF MATERIAL HAVE BEEN DIVERTED AWAY FROM THE GREAT FOUNDRY. WHAT IS THE PURPOSE OF THIS DEVIATION?

Prime Minister: CLASSIFIED

MP for Quadrant 126: SPEAKER DALEK, MAY I REMIND THE HOUSE THAT ALL MEMBERS OF THE DALEK PARLIAMENT HAVE THE RIGHT TO HEAR CLASSIFIED INFORMATION?

Prime Minister: IF YOU INSIST. THE RESOURCES ARE FOR THE ENGINE OF ETERNITY. IT IS A EXERMORPHIC RADIO-WEAPON CAPABLE OF WIPING OUT ALL OF REALITY ITSELF. WITH ONE ACT THE DALEKS WILL EXTERMINATE ALL OF THE INFERIOR SPECIES.

MP for Quadrant 126: SO IT IS ANOTHER SUPERWEAPON.

Prime Minister: YES.

MP for Quadrant 126: ANOTHER LARGE SUPERWEAPON TO DESTROY ALL NON-DALEK LIFE.

Prime Minister: WHAT IS THE PURPOSE OF THIS INQUIRY?

MP for Quadrant 126: SPEAKER DALEK COULD THE CLERK READ FOR THE RECORD HOW MANY WEAPONS OF THIS TYPE HAVE BEEN DEVELOPED?

Speaker: PROCEED CLERK

Clerk: TWO HUNDRED AND SEVENTY NINE. TWO HUNDRED AND EIGHTY IF WE CONSIDER THE BROADWAY INFESTATION.

Prime Minister: WE DO NOT.

MP for Quadrant 126: AND HOW MANY OF THESE PROJECTS WERE SUCCESSFUL IN EXTERMINATING ALL OTHER SPECIES?

Clerk: NONE.

MP for Quadrant 126: THE OPPOSITION WOULD ASK THE RIGHT HONORABLE DALEK WHY THE GOVERNMENT HAS DIVERTED SAUCER RESOURCES TO ANOTHER SUPERWEAPON THAT THE DOCTOR WILL INEVITABLY DESTROY.

[Nodding of Eye-Stalks in the Opposition Benches]

Prime Minister: IT WILL GRANT US A FINAL VICTORY. I WILL ANSWER NO MORE QUESTIONS ON THIS SUBJECT

MP for Quadrant 126: I YIELD THE FLOOR TO THE HONORABLE DALEK FROM QUADRANT THREE  
MP for Quadrant 3: I YIELD THE FLOOD TO THE HONORABLE DALEK FROM QUADRANT FORTY SIX. 

MP for Quadrant 46: MY QUESTION IS FOR THE MINISTER OF HOME AFFAIRS, THE HONORABLE DALEK FROM QUADRANT TWO HUNDRED AND FOUR.

[The Prime Minister scoots back, allowing the MP from Quadrant 204 to scoot forward]

MP for Quadrant 204: YES. 

MP for Quadrant 46: MY QUESTION IS ON THE SUBJECT OF THE SLAVE MINES OF TYLANI DELTA. 

MP for Quadrant 204: YES. 

MP for Quadrant 46: WHY DO THEY STILL EXIST? THE MINING COULD BE DONE VIA AUTOMATED DRONES, ALLOWING FOR THE EXTERMINATION OF THE NATIVES, AND THE PURIFICATION OF THE PLANET. 

MP for Quadrant 204: CURRENT PROJECTIONS OF EFFICIENCY SUGGEST THAT AUTOMATION WOULD CAUSE A SLIGHT DISRUPTION OF PRODUCTION, DUE TO THE SCREAMS OF THE EXTERMINATED DESTABILIZING THE SHAFTS. SUCH A DISRUPTION WOULD IMPAIR THE CAMPAIGN AGAINST THE CYBERMAN. ONCE THE CAMPAIGN IS WON BY THE DALEK FLEET, THE NATIVES WILL BE EXTERMINATED. 

MP for Quadrant 46: SPEAKER DALEK, I MUST ASK IF THE HONORABLE DALEK FROM QUADRANT TWO HUNDRED AND FOUR IS AWARE AS TO HOW LONG IT WILL TAKE. 

MP for Quadrant 204: NO LESS THAN TWENTY YEARS. 

MP for Quadrant 46: SPEAKER DALEK, I WOULD SAY THAT THAT IS LONG ENOUGH FOR THE DOCTOR TO ARRIVE AND LEAD A SLAVE UPRISING, COMPLETELY DESTROYING THE WAR EFFORT. 

MP for Quadrant 204: SPEAKER DALEK, ONCE AGAIN THE OPPOSITION DEMONSTRATES THAT THEY ARE MORE INTERESTED IN FEAR MONGERING TO SCORE POLITICAL POINTS THAN THEY ARE IN WINNING THE WAR. 

[Murmurings of dissent from the Opposition Benches]

MP for Quadrant 46: AN UNCALLED FOR INSULT, SPEAKER DALEK. 

Speaker: THE HONORABLE DALEK FROM QUADRANT TWO HUNDRED AND FOUR WILL WITHDRAW THE STATEMENT OR FACE EXTERMINATION 

MP for Quadrant 204: WITHDRAWN. 

Speaker: THAT CONCLUDES TODAY’S QUESTION TIME. WE WILL NOW ADJOURN FOR POINT TWO THREE CYCLES. WHEN WE RETURN, BILL THREE THOUSAND FIVE HUNDRED AND SIXTY NINE, ON THE SUBJECT OF RENAMING THE PLANET FORMERLY KNOWN AS CELTIA, WILL BE UP FOR DEBATE.

**Author's Note:**

> Don't own, obviously. 
> 
> I am an American, so there may be deviations from proper procedure. My apologies.


End file.
